Being a housewife is like having a day job. The only difference is this one is harder. You must be willing to be hated until they need five dollars. Screening phone calls is much needed too while coordinating production of multiply assignments. Being a housewife, you will also need to maintain the floor and do janitorial work throughout the facility.

Sadly, this job has no place for advancement. Actually, you need to remain in the same position for years while continuously updating your skills. The worst part is yet to come. How much would you get paid? Get this! You pay them! A noticeable increase in payment will occur 18 years after because of the assumption that college will make them financially independent. No benefits, pensions and any reimbursement. Free hugs and kisses though if you do your job right. So, without further ado, I would like you to know these home remedies to increase your skills at home! By the way, these remedies are what NOT TO DO!

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don’t panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.

2. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

3. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

4. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.

5. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.