Believe it or not, peer pressure begins as early as the toddler years. For some it never entirely disappears

In varying degrees, peer pressure affects all of us. It fuels fads and influences what wristwatch to wear, what car to drive, and where to go for our vacations. And if even well-adjusted adults feel the pressure to measure up, imagine for a teenager. The teen years are very confusing times, as the child defines his personality, identity and sexuality. And they are more vulnerable to negative peer pressure because he spends more time with their peers than with you.

So, here are a few steps on how we can protect them,if not entirely, but at least to the extent where they won’t go the wrong way.

1. Set crystal clear boundaries - when they are young, rules give babies ab toddlers structure. As they get older, rules provide guidance and needed boundaries. They will try to test your values and it is important not to back down on your own rules.

2. Be a better listener - I know we are good listeners, but, the key is to step it up a notch. Develop a bond with your children that will make them go to you when their feelings are hurt. When your grade-schooler tells you he’s not part of the “cool kids” gang in school, don’t trivialize his feelings by saying “You shouldn’t be upset with that”. Listen to the complaints.

3. Talk with them about peer pressure - Tell your preteen about peer pressure before it happens. You can say, “One of these days, your friends will tell you it’s cool to smoke,drink alcohol, or try a joint, but always but always think about the consequences of your actions. Smoking causes cancer, alcohol can get addictive, and these can affect your grades..”

4. Keep ‘em busy - Your teens cannot hangout if their days are filled with productive activities such as sports, crafts, church choir or other social programs.

5. Do not attack your kid’s friends - Teens will take it personally if they will attack their friends. Instead of saying that their friends are losers or bad influences, try saying that they have shifted priorities and say the consequences which you can point out without being judgemental.

Bottom line is to stay involved in your child’s life no matter what age. Your role, and in the future, will be my role as well, is to guide but not decide for them. When you do, you help your child have the best chance of finding the right balance between their individuality and accepting group beliefs.

I can’t wait to see this movie. I know that this is based on a musical but I didn’t see the musical and would love to see the movie. I LOVE ABBA!!! Yes, it may sound a bit gay but I grew up on ABBA and I have to say a lot of my childhood memories have ABBA songs associated with it. My parents discoed with ABBA and my mom used to talk about those days. I even remember her swinging and singing to ABBA while she cooked. Even up to this day Dad just has that sweet nostalgic smile every time he hears ABBA. Can’t wait…

I was reading David Zinczenko and Matt Goulding article and I wasn’t all that surprised about what they discovered – that most of the food we eat in restaurant chains are unhealthy.

On the top of their list is Outback Restaurant giving us 2,900 calories for its cheese fires.   But then most business establishments have no responsibility whatsoever for the health of their customers.  They want their money that’s it.  Of course, they make their food really taste good, at whatever cost and on whoever’s expense – in this case, the cost is unhealthiness and the expense is at the customer’s health.

It’s more practical to just cook at home.  It’s much cheaper, much tastier and definitely much healthier.  We have full control of what we eat.  I know that most of us are working and we neither have the time nor the energy to cook our own meals.

This is what I used to do when I was working.  I choose 2 days to cook within the week then I freeze whatever it is that I cook so I’ll just have to re-heat on other days.  Just sharing, especially with the amount of unhealthy but convenient food out there….

I know this most probably is the result of hormonal change but, what the hey… I’m going to share it anyway…

I was surfing through the channels and I saw Phil Collins singing in the Disney channel. I love Phil Collins so I let it stay on the Disney Channel…

He was singing You’ll be in my Heart…with the video of Tarzan as a small boy and the Gorilla mother… have you seen that? Well all of a sudden I started crying…

Disney’s for children but somehow they have songs that just hit straight to your heart…anyway…

I’ve been having the normal apprehensions about motherhood. I mean, this is the first time I’m going to be a mother and I kept thinking. I’m all screwed up how in God’s name am I suppose to try and guide the life of another…then I heard this song, one of the best of Disney’s in my opinion.

I suppose this song answers a lot of my doubts…

You’ll Be in my Heart… Forever

Do you get along with your in-laws?

You know, I know that they’re just after the well being of their son and all but sometimes it can be intrusive.

My husband is the eldest of seven kids.  It’s a big family and…well… he’s the eldest son.  It just really bothers me when they get wind of what I do and it’s just somewhat against what they do.  “Against” means different.   Then talk occurs then they start calling and trying to find out why this why that… then the ever condescending “ok if that’s how you want to do it.”

I belong to a small family.  I have two other sisters and my dad.  My mom has passed away.   In our family we have a very simple philosophy, “If you don’t call then everything must be fine.”  That doesn’t mean that we don’t talk to each other by the way.  It’s just that we all live in different states.  My dad though is just a few blocks away from my house which is fine but being “the dad” he doesn’t really intrude on what we do.

Oh well… I suppose there is truth in the saying, “You don’t just marry the man, you marry his entire family.”